Neitra

"Oh...no", I hear Abhay gasp and breathe rigorously.

His fingers clutch onto the steering wheel hard trying to control his emotions. I watch his knuckles pale and his eyes blink frantically. And the very next moment he is out of the car puking hard.

I can hear Abhay gag into the bushes, besides our car that stands in the middle of the forest.

His stomach empties effortlessly at the sight in front of us. My eyes remain affixed in the front, as I watch the dead body from our car, sitting on the passenger seat.

"Fuck....oh", Abhay shakes his head and wipes his mouth. Gargaling with the water, while his back remains towards a dead Ashok.

I step out of the car as I watch him heave taking the support of the car.

"Are you okay, Abhay?" I ask him.

My voice comes out hoarse, probably from enough exercise that it got to have yesterday.

He flinches away from my touch as I try to support him. He takes a step away from me. I withdraw my sprained hand that has risen in air to touch him.

Would he hate me now?

A question, that is fogging my brain from few hours attacks again.

What if he leaves me?

I look back towards the body, without a hint of guilt and disgust. It was just an usual sight.

Ashok has been dead since .....no...no...it has been fifteen hours since I killed Ashok.

My hatred towards him amazes me. Even after shredding him in most disastrous way, my eyes looks at his body like it wants to create more damage.

Like it wants to alive him, and then kill him again. And repeat the scenarios just like they were repeating in my head.

His body lays on the ground still, now a little bluish. A foul smell rises in the atmosphere making the flies linger around him.  His body now stiff lies covered in its own dried blood, his left eye that didn't close, probably got eaten away by a vulture. While the knife that I embedded on his right eye, remains there, pinning him to the ground.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask turning towards Abhay, his eyes avoiding the body at any cost.

Why won't he talk to me?

He shakes his head.

Will he leave me?

But he needs to understand that I had no choice left. Ashok wasn't just a criminal he was a figment of my trauma too....not him....but someone that he was like.

And he needed to be gone.

My hands clutch on my freshly tailored black saree that I changed into after killing him. Nervously I look at Abhay, his head buried in his palms.

He wipes his face with the sleeves of his white dress shirt. "We need to hide the body."

Huh?

"We need to hide the body", he repeats with determination, trying to glance at the dead body and swiftly turning away his eyes again.

"What do you want me to do? Tell me, you don't have to look at that thing. I'll manage." I say worrying about him.

He stares at me horrified. The same expression with which he looked at me when I told him that I murdered Ashok, yesterday midnight.

"Listen, leave everything upto me okay. Don't worry. I got this." He says and sweats at the same time.

So I raise my hand wiping his face.

Is he scared of me?

I watch his fingers fumble on the touch screen but then it stops abruptly making both of ours eyes widen in fright.

No no!

My heart hammers against my chest....wild. As I watch rows of police jeep arrive at the crime spot. Rishi's car stop behind Abhay's and he comes out in shock.

"So he called the police", I gasp clutchimg Abhay's palm.

Why does Rishi have to hate me so much?

Are they going to take me? To jail?

I look at Abhay. He looks delusionally calm. Rishi  glances frantically at the dead body and then looks at me in shock.

And then I decide, if I have to go to the jail for having one monster wiped out of the earth, I will happily accept my fate.

The police constables take their positions and a Porsche comes to sight. I know the car very well, it belongs to Papa.

The constable opens the door to the Porsche, Papa comes out along with DGP Krishna.

Papa looks at the dead body with a calm expression and then turns his eyes away. Yesterday night when I told Abhay and him, he left the room without saying anything.

Is he angry at me? Will he kick me out of his house? Make Abhay leave me?

The more I think about the consequences, the more my anxiety increases.

"Well...well...well", DGP, dressed in casuals remove his glasses and circles the dead body keeping his handkerchief on his nose. "Didn't know you all would kill him so barbarically."

He says looking at Papa and Abhay.

I turn towards Abhay in confusion and anticipation. He holds my hand.

"Are you going to leave me?" I ask whispering.

Please say you won't.

He actions through his eyes, saying 'ill tell you everything.'

"We didn't", I hear Papa say. "My daughter did."

And after ignoring me for so long, Papa finally looks at me with pride filled eyes. Walking towards me he lays a hand on my head.

DGP's smirk wipes away and his old eyes widen at me. "All alone?" He then looks at the dead body, probably to mark out the extent of damage that I created.

Adrenaline made me do it.

I stare at him blankly.

"Damn!" His smirk returns. He seems genuinely happy.

"N... now....what?" I hear Rishi stutter with closed eyes.

Isn't he too eager to get me punished?

"Now jail", hearing DGP say I turn towards Abhay.

"Abhay, I don't.....", I whisper trying not to demonstrate my weakness to everyone.

"Shut up, Krishna. Don't scare her", Papa chides him.

"Easy there." He laughs.

"Am I going to jail Papa?" I ask impatiently.

"For what?" He chuckles with utmost softness. "The thing that everyone was planning for too long, it took few hours for a single person to do it. I can't help but feel proud of you, Neitra. You have raised my head too high."

As much as his talks confuse me now, I feel a sense of safety radiating from him.

"Saza bure karmo ki milti hai Neitra, ache kaam ko anjaam Dene ke liye kiye gaye bure karmo ki nahi", Papa cups my face, lovingly.

(Evil is punishable, but not the evil against the evil.)

Abhay briefs me about how they were planning previously to kill Ashok. He tells me how everything was pre-planned by DGP Krishna and his entire police team.

How they were suppressed by the headquarters to take any action against Ashok even when several proofs were found against him, regarding various trafficking and relations with the mafia. Rape, abuse and illegal drug farming as well.

He needed to be gone soon. To prevent more damage that his evil intentions could make. I wonder for how long they were planning on executing Ashok.

I look at Krishna, he smirks his usual smirk. So he was in my team all the while?

But I realise, no....I was in his team all the time. He was the main hero.

This realisation takes a weight off my chest. And I exhale a sigh of relief.

"But what about the body", I ask. "There are his missing reports all over the media, what will the police reply when they ask him if they found him or not?"

"Smart", Abhay interjects squeezing my hand.

I would have blushed if......anyways.

"Bring him", Mr. Krishna ignoring me asks the senior inspector in uniform.

He nods.

A middle aged man comes out of the many jeep, in a white vest and blue lungi with a huge machette.

Is he a butcher?

"Cut him into pieces and feed our dogs, wipe the entire area clean. No traces of murder should be found." DGP instructs getting serious.

"What about his car?"

"Run it down the cliff."

The inspector instructs his juniors on the work demanded. A constable takes Ashok's car away.

"Sir, CM sir called. What do I say? Why can't we trace Ashok?" The senior inspector asks.

"Tell them, police ko deri hogyi, ek baar fir."

(Tell them the police got late.)

And I hear Ashok's line again.

This time, probably for a better cause.

The butcher takes his position. He sits crossing his legs on the floor and raises the sharp machette that shines in the daylight, seperating Ashok's head from rest of the body.

"We need to go", Abhay says hyperventilating.

And he says he was in the plan to kill Ashok too. I scoff. Rishi is the first one to leave along with Papa.

"I wanna watch!" I say bluntly watching the butcher making pieces of his hands, the one I cut his fingers from.

He covers his eyes with sunglasses and turns his face away.

I see blood oozing from Ashok's body, splashing on the butchers face and his white vest. Probably this is what I was looking like yesterday.

Even though I'm clean from his blood, I can still feel the metallic taste in my mouth.

The butcher cuts the entire body into fifty seven small species, seperating every organ. His heart still beats faintly as I watch the butcher throw it into a jute sack.

The pieces are packed in twelve thick jute sacks, seeping with blood. They are thrown into the police jeep. The area is washed, and new soil is being dug. Removing every trace of the blood.

I watch everything to my heart's content.

"He is gone .....he is gone, Ambika", a sad smile appears on my face.

Wish I could save her too.

"Deviyon ne shashtra uthana sikh liya, dekh ke acha lga", Krishna says smirking, making me stop on my way to Abhay's car.

(I'm glad to see women pick up the weapons now.)

"Shashtra humesha se uthaye the, chalaya ab jakar hai", I say walking back to the car.

(Weapons were always there, it's now that they needed to be used.)

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BREAKING NEWS:- MP ASHOK RANE, ACCUSED OF RAPE AGAINST A MINOR HAS FLEED INDIA. SOURCES SAY HE WENT MISSING THE SAME DAY HIS VIDEO WENT VIRAL ON THE INTERNET.

THE PARTY HAS CLEARLY REFUSED TO ACCEPT THAT THE VIDEO WASN'T MORPHED AND STILL DEFEND MR. RANE. THEY CALL IT AN ATTACK ON HIS AND HIS PARTY'S IMAGE EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN ACTIONS HINT TOWARDS THE CONFIRMATION OF HIS CRIMES.

POLICE ARE ON THEIR FEET FINDING THE ACCUSE BUT STILL NO TRACES CAN BE FOUND.

WHAT DO WE EXPECT A COMMON MAN WHEN........

I shut down the television, shutting the lady reporter.

It's been two weeks since Ashok died, noone knows where he is. Except for few people which include me.

Everything is getting onto track once again. But a deep void makes me feel empty. It's crazy how some events of your life take a toll on one's mental health.

"What happened, you aren't ready yet", I hear Abhay say, caressing my head.

I shake my head.

"Tell me", he presses.

I sigh looking at my hands. "They were meant to save lives, Abhay. What kind of monster have I become."

Smiling he cups my face. "Rakshas nahi, Devi ho tum."

(You're not a demon, you're a goddess.)

I look at his shiny eyes, looking and adoring me with same love.

"Do you feel guilty for killing him?"

"No", I say before he could complete  the question.

He chuckles. "Nothing that he didn't deserve. You actually saved several other lives by killing him."

If there is anyone in this world who knows and understands me better, it's definitely Abhay. Its so surprising that within a short span of time we have grown feelings for each other to such an extent.

I can't imagine him being apart from me. That's how much I want him.

My Abhay.

Cupping his face I lean on for a kiss. It has been so long I have felt him. After a long mess, finally things were falling into place.

"Neitra, we need to go baby", he whispers against my lips closing his eyes.

"Just once", I beg pulling his lips to mine.

His hold on my waist tightens as he pours his tongue into my mouth, leaving me breathless.

Not wanting to delay I begin to pull my saree off.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!"

Both of us pull apart as a foreign voice intrudes. I gasp deeply trying to catch my breath while Abhay rubs his forehead, his cheeks and ears burning red.

I see Mumma with eyes closed looking at everything else but us.

"I came to call you, the Puja will begin soon." She speaks without a break in a sudden awkward crisis and leaves soon.

"I'm mortified", Abhay murmurs closing his eyes.

"We are husband and wife", I say making him feel better. "Could you help me with the saree?"

He nods getting up.

Mumma and Papa have organised a Satyanarayan Puja at our home for peace and serenity.

Abhay and I would be sitting for it.

And I am not ready yet!

Abhay helps wrapping the saree around me while I comb my hair and wear the jewelleries.

"You're still red Abhay, calm down", I try to control my laugh while applying the lipstick. He is just a baby.

"I'm not", he says arranging the pleats of my saree.

"Yes you are, look at the mirror. Acting as if never embarrassed before."

"I have been, once or twice", he says getting normal.

"What? Embarrassed?"

He nods.

Just once or twice. I used to get embarrassed on a daily basis untill it became an usual thing.

"Tell me about it." I say getting ready.

Never did I know, I would love hearing someone so much. Like I would never want to stop talking to Abhay.

"I was in tenth standard and", he examines the length of my hair, before pleating them. "Was watching TV untill the remote died on Emraan Hashmi's movie and..."

I turn towards him in urgent curiosity "And?"

"Dad thought I was watching it", he again starts to red.

"Ohh...haha", I clutch my lips with my fingers to stop myself from cracking up and making it worse for him.

After five minutes of laughter attack I catch him gazing at me lovingly.

It was funny.

I wipe the tears from the corner of my eyes. Never had I laughed so much at anybody's plight.

Oh my baby Abhay.

"You look so pretty when you laugh", he says kissing my cheeks. And while face.

"Bheege hoth tere", I sing teasing him. But instead start laughing myself.

(It's a song from Emraan Hashmi's movie.)

Make it stop somebody.

"Enough now, let's go", after applying vermilion on my partition he pulls me out of the door.

I control myself from cracking up again.

And just like that, without any effort he once again puts my heart at ease.

We sit joining our hands in front of Shree Satyanarayan listening to the priest recite the tale.

Mumma makes me wear a dupatta and ties it's knot with Abhay's shawl.

I feel as if I'm getting married again.

We conclude the puja with the aarti and distribute the Prasad to all the family members.

"Abhay, someone important wants to meet you at the office." Rishi says taking the Prasad in his hand.

They have a private eye conversation which I do not understand.

"I'll be back soon okay?"

I nod at Abhay as he leaves the mansion.

Rishi and I stand in an awkward silence before I turn to walk towards the kitchen.

"Neitra!" He calls.

He hesitates.

"Bhabhi."

"Neitra would be fine", I retort.

"I......"

He falls short of words and I can guess what he actually wants to talk about. Rishi wasn't against me, he was a part of the plan too.

But his words that day felt like thorns. Although my huge ego wouldn't let me accept it but it hurt.

"I'm sorry." He says looking down.

Never have I seen him this way. It's been so long I have seen his bright side. It's like amidst the chaos it disappeared somewhere.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologise for hating me."

"No...no", he shakes his head coming closer. "I don't hate you Neitra."

He tells me how scared he was. How his past trauma made him feel like the history would repeat again.

"You don't have to apologise for loving Abhay and his family either." I say again.

"You're a family too Neitra", Am I?

To be honest it doesn't matter much if someone considers me as their family or not. As long as they stay in peace with me.

"Yes...yes you are. You're just like my sister who was...."

Who was killed by the hands of a cruel law man along with his entire family.

I couldn't help but feel empathetic towards him but it's too hard to show. I feel no words forming in my mouth so I side myself with a simple sentence as a reply.

"You're like my elder brother too."

I have never seen Rishi give an emotional smile before. And it makes me awkward at I watch him hide his tears from me.

"I'll go check if .....I'll just go ...I have some work", he rushes out.

Yah he is like an elder brother to me.

It's nearly midnight and Abhay still hasn't arrived. I toy with my nuptial chain to ease the growing tension.

I ring on his phone and I hear the ringtone outside the room. The ring of his phone nears and the door finally opens.

Disconnecting the call I slowly walk towards Abhay, who is standing in the dark at the door.

"Abhay?"

He doesn't reply. I stop midway.

"Are you okay?" I say reaching for the switch board.

No response.

"Who was he Neitra?" I hear his choked voice as if it has being strained for too long.

My heart starts to thump loud, not at his question but at his demanding rude tone. The one in which he never talked to me....ever.

Turning on the switch I finally see him and his disheveled state, eyes bloodshot.

"What are you talking about?"

He raises his hand up in air, and it is like I have forgotten to breathe. I see a hardback in his hand as he stands their demanding the answers. A black, ruptured diary.

He stands holding my diary.

"Who is he?"